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39 Truths December 28, 2014

Filed under: aging,birthdays,friends,funny,getting older — ddl6 @ 10:23 am
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It has arrived.  The last year of my thirties.  I keep thinking, ” Well, that was quick.”  This decade has flown by and I find myself trying to slow things down but loving the changes that time brings.  It is bizarre.

When I look back at my life so far, I can say truthfully, that the thirties have been my favorite. My twenties were an unsettled and crazy time.  I did get married young and have kids at a relatively young age, but I was still in the process of growing up myself.  It made things a little crazy, to say the least.

I feel like I have learned so much about myself and life, in general, in my thirties.  Of course, the weight of, ” Who will I marry?” and, ” What will my family look like?” has been lifted, somewhat.  In that freedom, I have had a chance to look back, to reflect on my life and I guess I’m feeling kind of…..wise.  Time and in my case, wine, can make one feel this way.  I have decided to share my “wisdom” with all of you.  It would probably be better if I could also share a bottle of wine with y’all, as well, but we’ll make do with my blog.

I have compiled a list of what I call, ” My 39 Truths.”  Thirty-nine things that I have learned over the years.  I’m not claiming that these are brilliant insights into life, just little bits of truth that I have picked up over the years. So, grab a glass of wine or sparkling cider, whatever, and enjoy.

  1. Happiness is a choice.  I spent a lot of time being pissed off and sad about certain things that have happened to me in my life.  It’s been in the last few years that I have decided to acknowledge these things but I choose to be happy about the now. Sometimes, it is almost impossible, but it can be done.
  2. Exercise can truly change your mood and outlook on things. But so can a well made gin and tonic. It’s all about balance, people.
  3. Always take the opportunity to pee. Seriously, just pee.
  4. Friends are so important.  I used to close myself off from people.  I thought I was better off not opening up to anyone. Friends are vital to happiness. Having someone understand and love you because they choose to, is so special.
  5. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect.  In the last five years, I have given up the need to have things fit my vision of how things “should” be.  My house is not going to be spotless. My kids are going to look like hot messes, sometimes. I’m never going to be that perfect, put together woman who I tried so hard to be for so long.  I’m flawed, life is flawed and it’s so much easier to just accept that and say, “Flip it.”
  6. The relationship that you have with your spouse is extremely important.  The kids will get older and not need you as much and it will come back to your and your spouse or partner.  You better like being around that person.  It’s fun to start “dating” again.
  7. I used to always be sad thinking about the day there wouldn’t be a baby in the house.  It really depressed me.  Well, guess what?  Kids grow up and it’s awesome.  It’s awesome to sit at the dinner table and have real conversations with these interesting and unique people who my husband and I made.
  8. S’mores are tiny bits of Heaven.
  9. Every sunrise or sunset that I am lucky enough to witness, amazes me.
  10. Sometimes, you will think that you mean something to someone but you are not even a blip on their radar. Move on and focus on the people who truly care about you.
  11. The movie, Bridesmaids will make me pee my pants every time.
  12. Laughter is vital to me.  I need it.
  13. No matter how old I get or what I see in the mirror, I will always feel like I’m 18. Sometimes it is truly shocking to see my wrinkles because I still feel like that 18 year-old girl inside.
  14. I will do anything for the people I care about.
  15. My kids shock the hell out of me.  I don’t think I’ll ever have them figured out.
  16. My husband is my truth.  Sounds so cheesy, but he is the one constant in my life. Our children change and grow.  He is the same man I fell in love with.
  17. Losing yourself in a book is a delicious luxury.
  18. Taking time to pray or meditate each day is so important.
  19. The quiet, early morning hours are my favorite time of day.
  20. Music can heal.
  21. Holding on to anger is harmful.
  22. I get along best with gay men.
  23. Coffee.  That’s all.
  24. Breathing in the salty, ocean air is intoxicating.
  25. I cannot multitask.  I always thought that as a mother of four kids, I should be able to multi task. I can’t.
  26. I could spend all day taking pictures of flowers.  I love all flowers.
  27. Sometimes, just being present is all kids need from you.
  28. I have a real aversion to people telling me what to do. This is a truth that I need to work on.
  29. I am an excellent judge of character. I always have been but it’s been in the last few years that I have really paid attention to my instincts.
  30. Smell memory is powerful.
  31. People let you down.
  32. The love I have for my children is the most powerful emotion I have ever felt.
  33. I have the mouth of a sailor. Truth is, I like to swear, it makes me feel better.  People who don’t swear make me nervous.
  34. The thread count of your sheets really matters.
  35. I love the south and feel like it’s magic.
  36. Sometimes when you feel like shit, just getting yourself up and out the door can work wonders. So can the right shade of red lipstick.
  37. Water. Drink lots of it.
  38. You have to wash your face every single night.  No exceptions.
  39. Grateful.  You must be grateful.

These are 39 of the hundreds of truths I have learned over my 39 years.  I can only hope that I’m blessed enough to live 39 more years and learn 39 more truths.

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37 Decembers December 9, 2012

Filed under: aging,birthdays,getting older,motherhood,Parenting — ddl6 @ 4:21 pm
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Well, it’s December, the month that I was born.  As I have gotten older, I have this love/dread thing with this month.  On one hand, I love Christmas time and I look forward to it each year.  On the other hand, it means I will be one year older…..sigh.

This whole getting older thing didn’t really bother me until about three years ago.  After I had my fourth child and  it dawned on me, that time of my life, the “having babies” part, was over.  I suddenly felt very old and very wistful.  I waited my whole life  to have babies and it was over, in what seems like the blink of an eye.  Now, that baby is 3 years old, I have a kindergartener , third and fifth grader and I’m left wondering how it all went so fast.  I find myself saying that a lot-“It goes so fast.”  I hate it when people say that to me, but it’s the truth.

My children are growing so quickly and I am feeling “my age” more than I used to.  I am trying to embrace getting older.  No really, I am, but it’s ding dang difficult when I am reminded I am no longer the Spring chicken I used to be.  There are many things the signify my getting older and I’ve jotted down a few……

  1. When I had my first child, I was always the “young mom”.  Honestly, by 5 or more years.  Now, with my youngest son, I’m one of the older moms.  I was waiting outside my son’s preschool classroom to pick him up.  There was a group of 5 or so moms, all with their baby slings and strollers and they were all freaking out because their 29th or 30th birthdays were approaching.  It hit me, that was almost 7 years ago for me!!! I felt sick to my stomach.
  2. If I have a couple of bad nights of sleep, it SHOWS.  I look like death.  The dark circles under my eyes turn black and puffy, the fine lines around my eyes are more pronounced, and my skin loses all color.  No more going a week and only sleeping 3 hours a night. That could damn near kill me.
  3. My dad.  He can never remember how old I am.  The last couple of years, when he calls to say happy birthday he asks ” Now, how old are you again?”  When I tell him he always says ” My God!  Are you really?  You’re getting up there, aren’t you?”  Thanks Dad.
  4. When I go shopping in certain stores the music is so loud I can’t even concentrate on what I’m shopping for.  Also, the stores are so dark.  What are they hiding?
  5. There are things that used to seem way too far off to worry about, but now they aren’t so far off.  In fact, they are rapidly approaching.  Things like getting a mammogram, getting glasses (my eyes aren’t what they once were), having a colonoscopy and Lord help me, menopause.  Ugh!
  6. I have moved into the 35-44 age bracket.
  7. I have always had a somewhat bad mouth but lately I find myself cringing at the use of the F-word and vulgarity in general.  I was reading a blog post someone put up on FB and every other word was an F-bomb.  I thought to myself ” Now, that is just gratuitous.”  Maybe that’s more of a sign of maturity?
  8. I like Richard Marx and other music on the soft rock channel.  Deal with it.
  9. When I indulge in more than 1 cocktail, glass of wine or beer the next 2 to 3 days are a recovery period.  Gone are the days when I could practically finish a bottle of vino myself.  My head hurts just thinking about that.
  10. I get heartburn if I eat too late at night.
  11. The kids that I used to baby-sit are now in college or graduated from college.
  12. I say things like ” Kids nowadays have no respect for their elders.”  Nowadays? Elders?  I also say ” Back in my day.”  when I tell my kids about when I was a kid.
  13. When I was younger, I would go to the beach and work on the perfect tan.  Now, I wear a wide-brimmed hat and I lather up with SPF 50.  I don’t check for tan lines at the end of a day in the sun.  I check for wrinkles and age spots.
  14. All the actresses “nowadays” are about 19 years old with 40-year-old leading men.  That annoys me.
  15. I drive a minivan………and I like it.
  16. My 20th high school reunion is less than 2 years away.  What!?
  17. When I go to a doctor who is younger than me, it makes me uneasy.  I think,  “This “boy” can’t possibly be qualified to write a prescription for me.”  I always feel like I need to ask to speak with a “grown up.”
  18. When I see Zac Efron without a shirt, I think ” DING DANG!”  and that makes me feel kind of pervy.
  19. I don’t know why this makes me feel old but it does:  I own and actually sometimes wear a tankini.
  20. I used to think ” I will NEVER have any kind of “work” done.  I will age gracefully and NATURALLY.”  That’s easy to say when you’re 28 and all hell hasn’t broken loose .  Now I think, “MEH, what could it hurt?”

I don’t mean to sound so gloomy about getting older.  I truly know that I am blessed to have lived 36 years and I thank God every morning I wake up and every night before I go to sleep.  I just don’t deal with change well.  I don’t even like to change  sides of the bed.  I will embrace all of the change though, for my children.  I will also “embrace” Botox, a good eye cream and push-up bras.  Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to me.