Well, it’s December, the month that I was born. As I have gotten older, I have this love/dread thing with this month. On one hand, I love Christmas time and I look forward to it each year. On the other hand, it means I will be one year older…..sigh.
This whole getting older thing didn’t really bother me until about three years ago. After I had my fourth child and it dawned on me, that time of my life, the “having babies” part, was over. I suddenly felt very old and very wistful. I waited my whole life to have babies and it was over, in what seems like the blink of an eye. Now, that baby is 3 years old, I have a kindergartener , third and fifth grader and I’m left wondering how it all went so fast. I find myself saying that a lot-“It goes so fast.” I hate it when people say that to me, but it’s the truth.
My children are growing so quickly and I am feeling “my age” more than I used to. I am trying to embrace getting older. No really, I am, but it’s ding dang difficult when I am reminded I am no longer the Spring chicken I used to be. There are many things the signify my getting older and I’ve jotted down a few……
- When I had my first child, I was always the “young mom”. Honestly, by 5 or more years. Now, with my youngest son, I’m one of the older moms. I was waiting outside my son’s preschool classroom to pick him up. There was a group of 5 or so moms, all with their baby slings and strollers and they were all freaking out because their 29th or 30th birthdays were approaching. It hit me, that was almost 7 years ago for me!!! I felt sick to my stomach.
- If I have a couple of bad nights of sleep, it SHOWS. I look like death. The dark circles under my eyes turn black and puffy, the fine lines around my eyes are more pronounced, and my skin loses all color. No more going a week and only sleeping 3 hours a night. That could damn near kill me.
- My dad. He can never remember how old I am. The last couple of years, when he calls to say happy birthday he asks ” Now, how old are you again?” When I tell him he always says ” My God! Are you really? You’re getting up there, aren’t you?” Thanks Dad.
- When I go shopping in certain stores the music is so loud I can’t even concentrate on what I’m shopping for. Also, the stores are so dark. What are they hiding?
- There are things that used to seem way too far off to worry about, but now they aren’t so far off. In fact, they are rapidly approaching. Things like getting a mammogram, getting glasses (my eyes aren’t what they once were), having a colonoscopy and Lord help me, menopause. Ugh!
- I have moved into the 35-44 age bracket.
- I have always had a somewhat bad mouth but lately I find myself cringing at the use of the F-word and vulgarity in general. I was reading a blog post someone put up on FB and every other word was an F-bomb. I thought to myself ” Now, that is just gratuitous.” Maybe that’s more of a sign of maturity?
- I like Richard Marx and other music on the soft rock channel. Deal with it.
- When I indulge in more than 1 cocktail, glass of wine or beer the next 2 to 3 days are a recovery period. Gone are the days when I could practically finish a bottle of vino myself. My head hurts just thinking about that.
- I get heartburn if I eat too late at night.
- The kids that I used to baby-sit are now in college or graduated from college.
- I say things like ” Kids nowadays have no respect for their elders.” Nowadays? Elders? I also say ” Back in my day.” when I tell my kids about when I was a kid.
- When I was younger, I would go to the beach and work on the perfect tan. Now, I wear a wide-brimmed hat and I lather up with SPF 50. I don’t check for tan lines at the end of a day in the sun. I check for wrinkles and age spots.
- All the actresses “nowadays” are about 19 years old with 40-year-old leading men. That annoys me.
- I drive a minivan………and I like it.
- My 20th high school reunion is less than 2 years away. What!?
- When I go to a doctor who is younger than me, it makes me uneasy. I think, “This “boy” can’t possibly be qualified to write a prescription for me.” I always feel like I need to ask to speak with a “grown up.”
- When I see Zac Efron without a shirt, I think ” DING DANG!” and that makes me feel kind of pervy.
- I don’t know why this makes me feel old but it does: I own and actually sometimes wear a tankini.
- I used to think ” I will NEVER have any kind of “work” done. I will age gracefully and NATURALLY.” That’s easy to say when you’re 28 and all hell hasn’t broken loose . Now I think, “MEH, what could it hurt?”
I don’t mean to sound so gloomy about getting older. I truly know that I am blessed to have lived 36 years and I thank God every morning I wake up and every night before I go to sleep. I just don’t deal with change well. I don’t even like to change sides of the bed. I will embrace all of the change though, for my children. I will also “embrace” Botox, a good eye cream and push-up bras. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to me.