I don’t know if it’s this dreadful heat, the fact that my kids still have 7 more weeks of summer break, or PMS, but I have been in a ding dang bad mood. Everything is irritating me lately. I’m even bringing myself down. So, as I was trying to come up with a new blog post, an idea came to me: I decided to make a “batpoop list”. A list of all the things that drive me batpoop crazy. It might be cathartic for me and maybe I’ll stop being such a B about everything. Cross your fingers.
Before I start, I just want to state that in general, I am a pretty happy person. I love my life. Sure, bad stuff happens, but bad stuff happens to everyone. I am blessed beyond belief and I know it. I just feel like complaining. Is that so wrong? If a girl can’t complain on her own blog, where can she complain? Without any further ado, here in no particular order is my “List of things that drive me batpoop crazy”. If you can relate to anything on this list, give me a “WORD.”
- Unmade beds.I can’t stand the sight of an unmade bed. It seriously causes anxiety for me. I can’t leave the house until all beds are nice and neat. The problem is, an unmade bed doesn’t bother anyone else in my family.
- I have talked about this next one before. I hate it when I let someone in front of me, whether it’s in the carpool line at my kid’s school, on the road, parking lot or whatever, and I don’t get the “thank-you” wave. It pisses me off like you wouldn’t believe. I’m not asking for a thank-you note, just a little wave.
- Peas. I think they smell and taste like feet. Yuck.
- When my kids argue. Oh.My.Word, it drives me crazy!!!!! Seriously, y’all are going to fight about who saw the punchbuggy first? Really????
- When my kids call my name from upstairs when I’m downstairs or vice versa. But they don’t wait for me to answer, they just yell “MOM,MOM, MOM,MOM,MOM!” Over and over again. Oh, no they didn’t.
- Grocery shopping with my kids. Do I really need to explain myself?
- Shopping with my husband. Again, no explanation needed.
- The band Creed. Hate them.
- When a parent says “My child would never say or do that.” That will bite you in the arse one day, believe me.
- When my husband says “Relax.” when I’m angry. I can almost guarantee that I will not relax. My head will probably start spinning around and green bile will fly out of my mouth.
- The fact that my children seem to “forget” everyday tasks like, putting clothes in the hamper, hanging up wet towels, closing doors behind them, brushing teeth and hair. Why? How?
- The fact that the boys cannot put all their pee in the toilet……ever.
- Getting into a cold bed. F-bombs will fly out of my mouth in rapid succession.
- Unsolicited parenting advice. Ummm, I’m sorry, did I ask for your opinion? Probably not.
- The sound of the TV on during the day.
- The fact that I will say to my husband “You just don’t know how badly they behave sometimes. YOU take them on errands and see how it is!” He will take all 4 to do something like grocery shop or to church and they are perfect little angels……. punks.
- Making dinner in the summer. Why is it so damn hard?
- When my husband asks me to iron for him. It really makes me mad and I don’t know why. It’s weird.
- When people see that my birthday is December 26th and feel the need to tell me why that sucks. Thank you. Now, please tell me something I don’t know. It’s been my birthday for 36 years….I get it.
- Maybe because my birthday is when it is, I can’t stand Christmas after Christmas. One of my presents each year is that my husband and kids take down the tree and all other things Christmas on my birthday. And when I see a wreath or lights up too long after, it kind of infuriates me.
- My children talking to me after bedtime. When I have given baths, read stories and kissed foreheads, that’s it, my shift is over.
- When complete strangers make comments regarding the size of our family or ask about my form of birth control. It’s rude and uncalled for and it suprises me every time.
- When I tell people I’m a stay at home mom and they say ” Oh, so you don’t work?” Nope, not at all! I just sit and watch Real Housewives all day, jerk.
- People who always have it “worse” than you. Example, you mention you have a cold and they say “Well, I flatlined last night.” Okay, you win.
- When people say to me “You’re going to miss this.” I know I will, really I do. But right now, my 2-year -old is begging me to read to him while I’m trying to make dinner,my 5-year-old is crying because his Lego tower keeps falling over, my 8 and 10- year- olds are engaged in WWIII because one looked the wrong way at the other one. I will miss it, but I need a few years to forget how hard it really is.
That’s about all I can think of right now. You know what? I am actually feeling better. Thanks for listening.