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Grow Up June 29, 2012

Last night my husband and I watched the movie Step Brothers. I’m not going to lie, I found it absolutely hilarious. It got me thinking about how my sense of humor has changed over the years. Instead of maturing, I find myself regressing. My humor is now that of a 12-year-old boy.

I have one sister and growing up, we didn’t have a lot of potty humor in our home. My parents weren’t into that sort of thing. We laughed a great deal, but not at stuff like burping and such. I have always loved slap stick comedy, but that was about as “low” as I went in terms of humor.

I met my husband when I was fourteen and to quote that anti-drug commercial from the 80’s, ” I learned it from watching you!” or him.

My husband is the youngest of 5 boys and there was no shortage of potty humor in his house. I think I was shocked by it at first but I soon grew to appreciate a well thought out, dirty joke. His brothers are all intelligent and witty men now and they make me laugh for many reasons, but when they do share a potty joke, I am delighted by it. Probably more than I should be.

We have a girl and three boys and we hear plenty of fart, burp and ,ahem, testicle jokes. I know I shouldn’t laugh at them but I just can’t help it. My husband will shake his head and say ” I know it’s funny, but you can’t encourage them to behave like that.” Riiiigggghhhttt, because he is SOOOOO mature. He does have a point though, but sometimes ignoring it can be…..challenging.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my husband and I took all those classes to “prepare” for childbirth and being parents. I don’t mean to be rude, but what a ding dang joke! The only things we took away from those classes were 1) the right “breathing” during childbirth doesn’t work 2) drugs DO work 3) we wouldn’t be taking those classes with our future children and 4) the story that I will now share.

During one of the childbirth preparation classes, we worked on breathing during birth process. We were in a class of about 20 couples. The instructor went over all the types of relaxation and breathing techniques and then asked all of us to join her on the floor to practice.

She asked that we sit in a semi-circle around her. She had us moms lean back against our partner’s chests with our knees up and our hands underneath our knees. She got down on the floor to demonstrate the correct position. When she had assumed the position, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath……….. and with all eyes on her, released a sudden, quick, but clearly audible fart. I looked around the room and there was no reaction. Even she didn’t blink an eye. Come on, were these people serious? Nobody even smiled! Well, nobody that is, except me and my husband.

I was shaking and turning red, trying not to laugh. I could feel my husband shaking behind me. I was even trying out some of the damn breathing exercises just to control my laughter. It was awful. Finally, in desperation I started fake coughing, but by then my husband was outright laughing. We had to excuse ourselves from the room. We made it down the hall before we lost it. I thought I was going to go into labor  from the sheer force of my laughter. It was an embarrassing display of our lack of self-control and our obviously immature sense of humor. We didn’t go back into class that night.

This happened over 10 years ago, but the thing is, if it happened again tonight, we would react the same way………

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2 Responses to “Grow Up”

  1. Melanie B. Says:

    You guys are HILARIOUS!

    Also, I agree that the childbirth classes are a bit of a joke – even without the teacher farting!

  2. ddl6 Says:

    Honest to God, that is the only thing we remember from those classes!


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