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Welcome to the Neighborhood June 23, 2012

Filed under: funny,Parenting — ddl6 @ 9:38 am
Tags: , , , ,

I spent my teenage years in Florida. There is a lot of water in Florida and a lot of time is spent on or around the water in a swimsuit. I have always worn bikinis. In Florida, women wear bikinis, not all women, but a good amount. Young, old, skinny, fat, whatever. Nobody cares. That’s not the case everywhere as I discovered when we moved to North Carolina.

We moved to where we live now in the summer of 2008. Most of the neighborhoods here have a community pool. After a day of unpacking and trying to handle 3 young kids, I decided we should check out the pool. My husband was at work so I got the kids ready, packed some snacks and threw on my swimsuit, a bikini. We walked down to the pool happy to be out of the chaos of our unpacked house. We opened the gate to the pool and headed in. Now, our pool is small and gets crowded quickly and that day it was full of kids and moms. We found a couple of chairs and set up shop.

As I was putting on floaties, handing out swim toys and such, I looked around. Slowly, I noticed all the other moms had on something I had never seen before, swim dresses and swim skirts. Hmmm, I obviously did not get the swimsuit memo. I was feeling very exposed and kind of hooker-ish.

I decided I would just keep my cover up on and sit by the stairs while I watched the kids. For about 15 minutes it was fine. The kids were having a great time and I was relaxing after the long day. Then, my 15 month old decided he wanted to go out farther into the pool. I tried coaxing him back to the stairs but he wasn’t having it. Crap, I was going to have to get in the ding dang pool. I was going to have to show, what I now felt, was my very inappropriate bikini. Damn.

I pulled off my cover up and walked slowly down the steps into the water. My pretty big 15 month old leaped into my arms. I held him and continued to walk down the stairs into the water. Before I stepped all the way in the water, my son hooked his foot into the top of my bikini bottom and before I could stop him, pushed the entire thing down with his foot. There I was, the new mom in the hood, mooning all these nice mothers and their innocent children. I placed my son down on the steps and not so gracefully pulled my bottoms back up. What could I say?

I let the kids play for a few more minutes and then got out of there before I could offend anyone else. I decided on the walk home that I would look into buying one of those swim dresses.

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4 Responses to “Welcome to the Neighborhood”

  1. Oh, yes. These are the moments that find me as well. 😉 Super cute and the good friends would have liked you more for it! I recently wrote a story about meeting my best friend nine years ago and how I didn’t like her at all. Ha ha! Had her britches been pulled down I would have loved her immediately!

  2. popmistress Says:

    The great flipside to this is that probably nobody noticed your bikini (well, at least not until the moon came out) or, if they did, they were thinking “wow, I wish I could wear one of those.”

    • ddl6 Says:

      Ha! They most certainly noticed the full moon at 3 in the afternoon;) I’ll never forget the face of the poor little girl right in front of it…….priceless.


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